My life in Mix Tapes

Sos, yesterday was my day of birth and since I couldn't afford to take the day off work, I brought all my old mix tapes in to listen to. I realized yesterday that my tapes moreso than cds or records have played important roles in my life, so much so that I teared up a bit while listening to some of the songs on them.

Fall of 1998 - the "Superhappy" tape. Aaron made it for me so I wouldn't be so homesick for my first year of college. It was a smattering of our favorite car songs played to and from high school, and all recorded from WVGO or the Buzz (during its one and only good year) or tapes left home by Jenni. Tear up moment: "Catepillar" by the Cure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBX8j1lZshE

Summer of 2000 - Innocence Mission "Glow". I listened to it religiously (pun intended) during my summer of Leadership Training in Surf City, NC with my college church. By day, I was a Kroger deli counter girl, and by night, I was supposed to be witnessing to people and turning them towards Christ, but all I remember are really lovely summer moments. My friend, Jody, and I hanging out with the guys downstairs from us (against all rules! As if I needed rules. Like Ben told me today in regards to how i spend money, "Your mother shouldn't be telling YOU to be frugal! She should be telling you to spend!!") sitting out on our little deck sewing triangles into the bottoms of my jeans to make bell-bottoms, learning how to play guitar on one of the worst sounding 3/4 guitars in the world, and generally believing and hoping that this would be the summer I found love. All with Innocence Mission as a soundtrack, that summer remains a dreamy blurry sequence of peoples' faces, silly me moments that I'm embarrassed about publicly, but really cherish that girl with the messy eyebrows and wonky glasses who thought she was every bit deserving of love. Tear up moment: "I hear you Say So". The song I learned on my guitar and wanted desperately to sing well.

http://www.last.fm/music/The+Innocence+Mission/_/I+Hear+You+Say+So

The living room in my parents house - The Cure "Singles" (Side A) Jenni also had the accompanying video cassette. The Cure was my one measurable sign of coolness in high school. I might've just as thoroughly enjoyed the Newsboys, or DC Talk, or the top 5 at 10 on Q94, but I also loved the Cure, and just about anything else Jenni or Aaron would play for me. I loved Robert Smith, and was completely honored by a senior friend of my sister's who dedicated "Bob and the bad boys in black" to me when she graduated high school. Coolest song I know: "10:15 on a Saturday Night".

I know all the words to all the songs. Whenever I'm feeling intimidated or powerless to change something, I put on those songs i love and I sing or if I can't, I mime the song. I sing songs in my head to people who annoy me, like Delta 5's "None of Your Business". I used to sing songs to guys I had crushes on (in my head) like Rachel Yamagata's "Worn Me down" or Mama Cass's "Dream a little Dream". I once sang Tori Amos's "Cornflake Girl" to the opposing team in a rousing game of Dodgeball in 8th grade gym class because I was convinced it was an amazing intimidation strategy. That 13 year old is alive and well most of the time.

P.s. Thanks to Gail for recognizing it. Yes, the quote on the bottom of that card says "You are the music" - T.S. Eliot

Sunday morning shenanigans

It's amazing what the lack of toilet paper can do to one's psyche. After discovering post-putting on pajamas/pre-getting into bed that the last roll of toilet paper was just about gone, I spent a sleepless mostly uncomfortable night waiting for morning when I could go get more. The situation was only worsened by two facts, one we shall call a "stomach issue" and one we shall call a "lady issue". Fun.

LandStagers has had an interesting past couple of days. We're working on a tree pruning project that was only supposed to take 4 hours to do, which with a rainy day on Ben's last "weekend" day, and then him returning to work fulltime, has evolved into 4 days, and now we're hauling away brush which we originally didn't have to. Sigh. I knew it was bad yesterday when Ben said, "I couldn't feel my upper body today". Always something you want to hear.

Plus, the housecapades continue. Rule #1: DON"T listen to people when they say things like: Buy a house, it's cheaper than paying rent! It's a great time to buy! etc and so forth. We have so far, (and we've just finished all our inspections and are impatiently waiting to see if the sellers will fix the things that need it) spent over THREE MONTHS RENT and we haven't even closed or have access to the house yet. Three months rent that we don't have and are graciously receiving from my parents. We also have already put in notice of termination on our apartment, and have to be out by August 31st. If all goes well (cross fingers, legs, rope) we'll close on Jenni's birthday (the 25th) and will have 6 luxurious days to move in. If not, well... we'll cry.

BUT, it's not all tears and sarcastic one word sentences. Things I'm really excited about are:
1. THE YARD
2. Walking around Lowe's pricing out dishwashers
3. Screen Doors
4. Not having to walk up stairs
5. Putting up different light fixtures
6. Knocking down a wall because I CAN
7. My very own parking space
8. becoming a DIYer

Generally, I just hope this house is worth it. We didn't and still don't buy into the idea that people HAVE to buy a house. It doesn't always make sense, especially if you don't have the fronting money to finance it. And if my parents weren't such enablers, we wouldn't be doing this right now. But, we're banking on the idea that this is an investment; that we bought a decent house in a great neighborhood, and it's going to be a step in the right financial direction for us.

Cross fingers.

A holster for my boobs

Hey-o, I said it. I've been waiting almost a week for my "Having it All Bra" to come in from Title Nine - this totally awesome catalog found on the back of my mom's toilet. Mom's toilet always has this odd collection of Southern Living and travel/sport clothing paraphenelia. My mother is not an avid sport player, but her exercise clothing collection can rival the Olympian softballer. The ratio of yoga pants to button down shirts is extraordinary, much like the ratio of rednecks to beautiful women in coal-mining West Virginia.

So my bra came with a glow from the heavens today at work, I was so excited. I tried it on once at work, and then put it on as soon as I got home, and am still wearing it. It slips on like a holster, (pun intended) in which to put my seemingly ever growing breasts, and closes in the front. Essentially, my dream bra. I can't wait to start working out, just so I can put this bra on.

This one's for you, Stephanie.

It's a something alright

This past Thursday was filled with some winning moments - from a weaselly man who accused us of tree genocide, called an 80 year old man an "asshole", and told us we were in it for the money (all $40 of it) to the very expensive light we dented with a 50' dead pine tree (though we managed to avoid the other 6 expensive things also in the way)- we were thrilled to be in business! We were so down on Thursday afternoon, we bought ice cream from Bruester's. We felt better afterwards.

We also felt better being able to wake up the next day and to keep working. I'm learning about the world of business "things" - things meaning shit happens. You deal with it, don't let it break your confidence and keep going.

Plus, we have a pretty new red truck, and I get to drive it around. It's huge, at least compared to my Matrix, but it was so cheap! And new... to us.

In the meantime, I finally got to clean the apartment today for the first time in almost a month. Vaccumming is severely underrated. So is laundry. And clean dishes. And Organization.

And Larry King.

Holders of our own Destiny, here we come!

Thursday marked the first official day of business here in the land of Shirley. Benjamin and Sara, land designers extraordinaire. With another job lined up in two weeks, and a couple bids in the wings, day by day we're making strides to (hopefully) ween ourselves off the financial help of our ever-generous parents, let me clarify - my parents and his wonderful mother and his mother only (oh, I have no strong feelings on this point) and back to the world of being able to pay our bills. Yay! Three cheers.

It's underrated the feeling of being able to tackle any financial obstacle that comes one's way. When lucrative jobs are few and far between, and you find yourself eating rice and beans for the 5th night in a row, just because there's nothing else in the cabinet, the meaning of a dollar is driven hard and fast into your mind, and even that penny on the ground is something to be valued and picked up. A penny saved is a penny earned and we need about a million of them to make it.

The hardest thing about times like this, and who's kidding, it's been going on for a year or so, is the flippant way other people in our lives have talked about money. Gambling it away at poker games, stating boldly the projects they're working on, or the vacations they're taking, the homes they're buying. I don't fault anyone for having more than enough to live, I fault them for flaunting it in the face of people who have cut back on everything, and yet still struggle to cover the costs of everyday life. The undeserving co-workers who get a promotion or a raise, the exorbitantly high cost of repair to a clunker car, the feeling of anger and hopelessness in a present situation. The taking of a step forward and one event pushing us back two steps. It's all part of a bigger picture, and that's the hope to hold on to. The lines aren't drawn, and until they are, things can still change for the better.

Whoa whoa whoa, and wow!

To be serious for a moment....and because I can't log onto Richmond.com to respond to a comment posted after a dry but "gets the conversation going" article, to be a Christian requires only to believe that Jesus was God in the flesh. That's it. It's everything else that can be debated. The comment left that leaves me feeling a bit miffed and ready to talk is (paraphrased) "if you don't believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God then you don't believe in Christianity". Ummm...... no. Truth be told, I did at some point in my life, think and believe this. But not any longer. In that statement I am not denying the sacredness of the Bible, I am acknowledging the bigger point. Christianity is Christ. Christianity = Jesus. Anything more than the cross and you've put yourself in a position higher than Christ. Try it. Just try. Jesus is preaching "I am the way the truth and the light", and you jump in with "and the inerrancy of the Bible. Oh, and while I'm at it, creationism, and pro-life. Yep. Without these things none of you are Christian". 

The heart of those additional defining statements is an honest desire to exhibit and live out a love and dedication to Christ. With additional rules to follow, stands to take and people who support those stands, it's easier to feel Christian. It makes things easier to divide between right and wrong, black and white. But we are each called to work out our salvation through fear and trembling. By blindly following whatever it is that a group decides is right, we each have gone astray from that calling; whatever that group may be. People can not be faulted for wanting to belong, to feel secure, to rest. It's when that people group, or a person in that group, enforces those ideas on everyone not in that group. Or attempts to. Or questions the belief and sincerity of another person, and makes a salvation judgement call. I think, and you can quote me on this, Judgement calls belong to God. I'm sticking by that. 

Here's the article. It's about Homosexuality and the Church, something that's close to my heart these days. I believe if people had the chance to work out their fears, to talk about anything and everything openly, and to appreciate people for who they are, we'd have a lot less hurt in our churches, and raise our children to believe Christianity is open to any who believe:

http://www2.richmond.com/content/2009/may/07/homosexuality-and-church-progressive-view/ 

Oh my modern woes...or My tea kinda tastes like 409.

My hairdryer broke. In proper humour fashion it broke with half of my head done. One side: coiffed, the other side: I woke up drunk. Holla. My hairdryer! What a specimen of early 90's design! Look at how beautifully the wording has rubbed off over the years! I'm reduced to "pony-nub"ing it today -- the faux hawk of ponytails, the "she had to work really hard and thinks she looks totally hard-edge with that ponytail that's been cut off" look. Sigh. See my face. What has 21st century america come to? Oh, the horror. I put black eyeliner on my face because black is how I feel on the inside. today.

In other news, the living room wall is finally something that makes me happy. Love that shelf? I do! I made that lampshade! It was sooooo hard.

My mission today, other than finding a wide brimmed hat and Twiggy sunglasses to shield my disheveled and shameful exterior from the ever hateful world, is to book it to Lowe's and find hinges! I put on doors! I do half my hair! I'm unstoppable. I haven't had coffee.